When I wake up
by The Wolf You Fear
Summary: Loki dies... or does he? In the vastness of Svartalfheim, Loki finds himself alive, and capable of evil once more... but will he find a better purpose hidden within the murky depths of his soul? One-shot, no slash.


"I'll tell father what you did here today."

Thor held his little brother in his arms, cradling him, promising him he would not be forgotten.

Loki lay dying, clutching Thor's strong warm arms, trying to hold on to the last thin threads of life. He looked up, "I didn't do it for him." He said with the slightest, ever slightest hint of a smile. Then he lay back and closed his eyes, to all appearances dead.

"NOOOOO!" Thor's cry echoed across the vast Svartalfeim plain. Loki heard it in his ever fading consciousness. _Hah. Brother, is that the glimmer of hope you convinced me was gone? Am I your little brother again?_

It was a mocking thought, as the darkness took him, but it possessed his troubled questioning. And if he was his little brother again, wasn't it too late?

Thor and Jane were gone. A course wind blew over the plain. Cliffs, rocks, dirt, but nothing betrayed any sign of life. Loki lay abandoned on the ground, but something stirred inside him. Life? No, he was supposed to be dead, right?

He fought it. He didn't open his eyes. Maybe he was dead, and if he was, was he in Niffleheim or Hellheim? He didn't feel dead, but then again, he didn't feel alive either.

Where was Thor? His brother's strong embrace had left him long ago. He must be either abandoned, or dead. And there was only one way to find out.

Slowly, The God of mischief opened his eyes. Svartalfeim. Nothing else.

He sat up on the course grains of volcanic sand, looking around, and half hoping that Thor and Jane were still here. Nothing. _I can't even die right. _He thought miserably.

He had saved Thor; The Kursed had raised his fist to kill him, but Loki got there first. Using all his strength, Loki had stabbed the Dark Elf blade through Kursed's chest from the back, the sword sticking far out of the front.

The Kursed didn't fall. He didn't die. He had just turned slowly, slowly towards Loki. Then there were those split seconds of fear, staring into the cold eyes of a monster. And then The Kursed grabbed Loki by the shoulders and impaled him on the same blade that stuck out of his chest. Loki had yelled loudly, but even louder was Thor's scream as he'd fallen to the ground.

The Kursed had turned to leave, but Loki always had a backup plan. "See you in Hell, monster." He had said as the Elf grenade in Kursed's belt had triggered.

Had it all been for nothing? To have thought that his last deed had been a good one and to have saved some last hope of honor, and then to wake up again, alive, fully capable of undoing all the good he had done?

It reminded him of a long-buried memory, full of mischief and trickery and lies but tainted with a touch of sentiment. Hanging from Gungir, dangling off the edge of the bifrost with an ever-loosening grip, hoping desperately, needing something, anything, to let him know that he was wanted, and that what he had done had made his father proud. But a simple "No." had ended it all as Loki let go, his heart breaking and yet something very calm seeping into him. Death? That was what he had thought at first, and as he slipped into the void, it had seemed like it was meant to be. Away from his past, his lies, his mistakes, and away from the father who couldn't seem to love him.

_Not my father. _Loki thought with more than a hint of scorn. But then the memory cut through his mind like a knife; "HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" He had screamed in a rage as Frigga tried so desperately to right what had been wronged. Tears had filled her eyes as she stepped closer to him, "Then am I not your mother?"

Loki would never forget those words. To deny his fath- Odin had to mean to deny Frigga as well. But Frigga was- no…but, Loki had had to scramble for words. Finally, as calmly as he could muster, Loki answered; "You're not."

_But ah, Frigga was always one for comebacks._ Loki thought with a hint of fondness and a stab of remorse. Frigga had looked him in the eyes, tearing up but still speaking; "Hm, always so perceptive, about everyone but yourself." Loki looked remorsefully back at her, and then shook his head and passed his hands through hers, causing the psychic illusion to fade. Loki, left alone in his cell closed his eyes. What had he just done?

The memories haunted him. _"Trust? Was that her last expression? Trust? While you let her DIE?"_

"What help were you in your cell?" Thor had questioned. And what help had he been? He should have been fighting by her side, saving her, anything. But where was he? He was locked in the darkest recesses of Asgard's dungeons. But Loki just screamed.

"Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE!?"

But he knew. He knew it was him.

Just then a faint glimmer shone at the edge of his vision. He turned quickly. Was he finally dying?

No. No. Frigga. The ghostly figure swept over the plane in an almost peaceful manner, gliding towards Loki silently. Was she smiling?

Loki's eyes widened, and then quickly snapped shut. No. He couldn't face her, not after-not after what happened.

He must be dreaming. He had to be dreaming. But the shimmering figure was drawing near. _Pull yourself together._ He slowly opened his eyes.

She stood in front of him, her long braided hair blowing in some un-seen wind. She looked straight into those bluish-greenish-silvery eyes, and calmly, like a gentle wave in an undisturbed sea, she spoke.

"Loki."

Loki didn't speak, just stared, trying not to do anything stupid.

"Loki."

"Frigga?"

"Loki, you mustn't be hard on yourself. It wasn't your fault."

"Mom-Frigga, you don't understand." An edge of a frightened child threatened Loki's smooth voice, "I-I told that-that monster to take the stairs to the left, and he went there and he…"

"You didn't know." Frigga's smooth voice crooned.

_Always so perceptive, about everyone but yourself._

"Frigga, I-"

"Loki," The ghost cut him off, "There is a reason why I'm here."

"What?" Loki looked up, "Am I dead?"

"No. Go to your father."

"_HE'S NOT MY FATHER!"_

"Why?" Loki scoffed, "He would just chain me up again."

"I didn't mean as you."

The thought dawned on Loki, but he shoved it away. "You mean, tell him I'm dead? He wouldn't care, so what's the point?"

"Watch him. See if he cares." And with that, the queen of Asgard was gone.

Loki was alone once again, surrounded by ash and dust. He'd do it, if only for his mother's sake.

The skiff they had arrived in lay abandoned not far away. Loki quickly assumed his guard-illusion, and then, casting one last quick glance around, stepped in. He had an appointment with Odin.

Odin sat alone in the throne room as his men tried to repair the damage the Dark Elves and Malekeith had done. His one eye reflected age and wisdom, but that was now blurred by hate and grief. He too had mourned the loss of his queen, and now it seemed like he would never be the same again. He could feel the Odin sleep dragging him down.

Just then, a guard walked in, that Odin recognized as one sent out to stop Thor and Jane and Loki.

"Thor?" He asked the guard.

The guard hurriedly shook his head, "No sign of him, or the woman. But… we found a body." The guard looked up, something hauntingly familiar in his eyes.

Odin couldn't see it, but he knew the identity of who they had found. He looked up slowly, "Loki."

The guard suppressed a grin, but there was a searching in his eyes. How would he react? Then Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, fainted.

Loki had to try with all his might to keep his composure and not give himself away at that very moment. He called for the other guards to help, and they managed to get Odin into his chambers.

Left alone in the throne room, Loki tried desperately to control his breathing. Sure, he had helped bring about the Odin sleep that one time before, but even when he had been finding out those lies from all those years, and yelling in a rage _Trust my rage._ At Odin, it had not been that sudden.

Frigga's death must have helped. But now, Asgard was defenseless. _Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours._ Loki heard Frigga's voice in his mind.

He hurried into Odin's chambers without being seen. The guards were gone. There was only Odin, alone in his bed, and Loki, slowly walking closer.

Loki bent over the magical field above the bed. "Look at you." He whispered, "Useless, defenseless, and only when your kingdom needs you. Look what you've done. You've let your wife DIE, you've let the Dark elves invade, and you Odin, you've created a monster. You never know how to make amends, do you? Well, it's too late now. Nothing you say would change anything, and right now you can't even do that. Well know this. I will rule Asgard while you nap through its battles. I will protect while you lie in utter failure. I will be the king you never could be. But I will let you live. Now sleep tight."

Loki conjured an illusion to cloak the King in invisibility, and then took his form for himself. To anyone else, it would look like the King of Asgard had just woken up, except for the wry grin spreading over his face.

Loki slowly walked out of Odin's chambers, and the guards didn't question a thing. He walked up the golden steps to the newly repaired throne, and as Odin's two ravens came to perch on either side, he sat down.

"You know," he muttered as he settled in, "I could get used to this."

THE END.

bruhaha


End file.
